Cancer, you complete me…

I’m continuing with maintenance chemo. It’s quite delicious, a few pills every day and a 30 minute infusion, that takes about 4 hours. Time flies. No major complaints, aside from not being able to drink alcohol at will and some hand and foot issues. I get sweet sores on my feet. Supposedly the medicine can come to the surface of the palms and soles of feet, induced by heat or pressure… since you walk and stand on your feet all day… well, there’s no avoiding that. I have learned that the sores on the heel are much better than the ones on your toes or the ball of your foot. So I am thankful for this one and it’s location. Oh, the little things in life. A real treasure. It only really bothers me at night, when I’m pretending to sleep.

I did read an old article that people with skin conditions during chemo sometimes faired better in overall survival. I’m sure if I look hard enough (or not hard at all) I could find an article that explains there is no such evidence. I’ll just think what I want.


It makes for impressive blisters or sores at times on the feet. I mean who wouldn’t want to walk around with something like this on their foot. It’s a toss up, between this… or having a nail driven directly into my heel. Pedal the Cause shall be interesting. Riding a bike for 20 miles (when I haven’t moved from the couch for months) with pressure induced sores seems wizardly. Sharp as a marble, my dad always told us (when we did something stupid). Blister the Cause.

Speaking of my dad… those Canadians are flying south for a week in September. That should be nice. Finally, a visit where I’m not on deaths door or having some life altering surgery that I may not survive. Knock, knock, knocking on heavens door…

Cancer… what a twat. Seriously, you never know until you have it… and having a kind that can’t be cured, blows. It changes you… a lot. My life is  a complete 180 now… or upside down? hmm… things have calmed down at least. I guess after a year and a half you start to understand things… and sort of accept them, settle in. Not much you can do otherwise. Your life is different, and everyone else’s lives are still the same. It’s the strangest thing. I find myself envious of others lives at times. The normal day to day, and evening/weekend play. It’s what it is. I guess I’m still adjusting. Cancer, you complete me…

I am thankful it’s been a year and a half… it’s bitter sweet. I’m glad I’m out of those surgeries and through my first rounds of chemo. I’m also aware of the grim outlook of a very avoidable disease, had I caught it sooner. It’s weird living scan to scan or treatment to treatment. You are almost just waiting for something to pop up or come back, as it’s almost inevitable. Worrying and wondering what in the hell is looming in the future. But then again, I could be one of the lucky ones. Someone that lives past 2.5 years… then 5 years… and hopefully, amazingly 10. It gets exhausting. I won’t lie… worrying… about something I have absolutely no control over… the unknown. Stupid cancer.

Lucy, my darling, beefy, bulldog turned one yesterday. That was exciting… (see, I need to branch out). We took her to Ted Drewes. She is now weighing in at a whopping 50lbs. That’s a whole lot of lovin’. She may be 51lbs after eating hers and Franks custard, they are in love.

A B CShe’s a beautiful lady…




All clear…

Well I had an MRI today (7/25/16) to check the progress of my cancer… Oops, I mean chemo. 😉

I guess the little spot that may or may not have been something that had showed up in May on my scan was not showing up today. It could have been nothing or the chemo has done it’s job, it was very small to begin with (5mm-welcome to the medical metric system American people-JK). Either way, it’s good news. Things appear to be all good right now. All clear…

I’ll meet with my oncologist in the middle of August to see if we just keep going with this current chemo regimen or if I can go off of it or even just cut back perhaps.

I’m hoping this cancer “stuff” is finally under control. It would be nice to not have to waste so much time with it. Ha. It’s something I will apparently have to deal with off and on for the rest of my life, but hopefully I’ll get some extended breaks here and there.

I’m very thankful for all of your support and of course for all this good news. Thanks so much!!


The latest and greatest… 6/9/16

Greetings…. and cancerous salutations….

I had a CT scan 5/26/16. It was just a follow up to the cryo ablation procedure I had on April (26th), to make sure that they treated the entire area they were wanting to. That treated area is now all cleared up and healing. There is however, a new little spot growing elsewhere in the liver now. I mean, I am pretty amazing at growing these tiny things… that takes talent.  It sounds like it too is treatable, another ablation likely in future, no rush. I saw my oncologist last week Tuesday, we agreed on going forward with a light chemo regimen. It’s basically like maintenance chemo. I started it last Tuesday. It will consist of a 30 minute infusion of Avastin every other week (into the old port hole) and an oral 5FU pill 7 days on, 7 days off (3 a day or something). I had the 5FU through infusion last week for insurance purposes, waiting on approval. Pill form starts next Tuesday.

So the plan is to go forward with this chemo for two months and then at the end of July I’ll get a CT scan to see if that little spot has grown, stayed the same, shrunk, or if it has any new friends. Depending how things look at that time I will either stick with this chemo, start a new stronger chemo, talk about some other options of treatment, or have another cryo ablation… or maybe a couple of those things (cryo+). Time will tell. We’re just trying to figure out the best way to keep things from popping up in the liver in future and to keep them from growing anywhere else…

Things seem to be staying in my liver, so that’s good. They aren’t growing in other locations, always a positive.

In the past couple of months, I’ve had a couple of tests run on tissue they had removed during surgery in December and another test from a simple blood draw (Guardant360). These tests look for cancer mutations present in old tumor material collected in December or for cancer cells floating around in my blood currently. These tests are designed to look for certain mutations in order to know what chemo drugs may or may not be useful in future or if there may be clinical trials I would qualify for (also in future), if necessary. The more info the better.

Other than that, I’m feeling fine. I’m keeping busy at work and ready to likely avoid the sun for yet another summer (thanks to chemo). I love being pale… it’s quite wonderful… pale skin and darkening under the eyes makes you appear thinner than you are, so that’s charming. I also think I have to abstain from drinking again, I need to find out. Chemo + Alcohol is a little hard on the liver… I did enjoy my “moderate” drinking era, the last few months… that was real nice like…

I guess stay tuned. If anything changes, you’ll be the last to know…. no offense… sometimes I’m just lazy.




Scan results 4/25/16

Finally, some good news with no “but”.

My latest scans showed nothing new growing since the last scans. Great news. I’m having, or may have had, my one suspicious spot treated 4/26/16.  My liver surgeon finally got a chance to look at the previous and now the most recent scans, he wasn’t convinced it was even regrowth, as it’s more likely a scar. But, better safe than sorry.

And the Blues won!!!!

YAY!!  LGBT!!!!


March and Madness 3/22/16

Thinking today… March being Colon Cancer Awareness month… I remember learning about this a year ago. I also remember hoping I lived to see another March. I was only in my second month of chemo and scared shitless, I had read all types of articles regarding advanced stage colorectal cancer survival and found the survival rates and statistics were often somewhat negative.  The odds were not, forever in my favor…

Almost a year ago I was told I had a 5-10% chance of survival, I believe this is in regards to long term survival. In December of 2015, I was told that 40% of patients don’t even make it to the point that I had, to have the second staged liver surgery. I wouldn’t say that the journey has been easy, but it’s been bearable. Even though sometimes survival rates are low or statistics are not in your favor, you have to believe that you will be one of those people out of 100 that can survive past 2.5 years or 5 years or 10 years or whatever the amount of time is. I’m not always a positive person, but I’m still hopeful, even when an outlook is not. The last year has been crazy and at times it seems like time is standing still and then flying by. I consider myself very lucky to have such a great group of people supporting me and rooting me on. Thank you, it makes a huge difference. You have all somewhat carried me to this point and will hopefully continue to carry me for a very long time. No pressure. Ha!!! 😉

Now for the most recent update:

Since my surgery in December (when they were hopeful of me being cancer free), my January scan showed that there was a new spot in my liver. This was likely some residual microscopic disease already there, untreated by chemo. There was also an area that was showing up in an area that was treated last year with ablation in May, it could also just be scarring.

They have since done the cryoablation on the new spot, it is dead and gone according to the most recent scan in March. However, the other old treatment spot again looks a little different, still could be scarring. They have decided to just go ahead and do another cryoablation at the end of April. If it’s anything it’s slow growing and in a place that has already been treated, so it’s no big deal. It’s just not something that can be left alone, as it’s not in a great location (near a vein). So I’ll have that spot frozen… I also have a scan at the end of April, this is just to see if that old spot has changed any more. It really doesn’t matter, as it sounds like it’s being treated and removed anyway. Hopefully there will be nothing else new at that time. My most recent scan this month (March 11th), showed nothing new growing so that’s great news. Please, have a drink in my honor… or five.

Other than that, nothing else new and exciting. I’m still off of chemo, but I’m learning that Chemo Brain is real. Remembering things and finding the words in conversation are no longer my forte. I’ll have to find a different area in which to shine… now I’m really good at things like: 1) Just sitting there, 2) Looking off into space, 3) Smiling (DISCLAIMER: sometimes-not always), 4) Not thinking clearly, 5) Not paying attention.

It will probably be at least a month or more until the next update, since I won’t have anything done until the end of April. Chew on that…


I’m BLUE… Da ba Dee Da ba Daa….


As some of you know March is colon cancer awareness month. Go blue!!! Blue is the designated color for colon cancer… thank God (I like blue).
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. To put it simply… rumor has it… YOU’VE MISSED ME!!! Sorry for the lack of updates, it’s kind of due to a lack of any new information on my part. I didn’t mean to leave you hanging… or whining. JK.
I don’t have much to report (I feel like I say that a lot). In review:
I had a spot (on my liver) pop up in January. They basically froze it out in February. I’ll have a CT scan tomorrow (March 11th) to see how things are looking. We’re hoping to see no more new spots.
These new spots aren’t necessarily “new” growths. They could be old tiny microscopic ones that have just now started to grow.
There’s apparently not a ton of research supporting the administration of more chemo at this time (according to “ONE” of my sources). I’m in the process of exploring this more with different doctors. There are chemo therapies and immuno therapies that can be used to control things in future. It’s pretty tough to say for sure that everything is ever gone for sure, but I can hope each scan is either clear of spots or if spots are still showing up, then it’s best if they are in locations they can easily be removed (with surgery or ablation: the burning or freezing of these tumors).
There is some evidence that shows diet, exercise and the use of aspirin daily can benefit individuals like myself. Or it can at least prolong reoccurrence. This is of no surprise, the healthier one can be, the better prepared physically they are for combatting illness or surgery in future. I’m in the process of bettering my diet (less ice cream) and moving towards being able to exercise more… watch out!!
Overall, I feel pretty darn  good. I’m back at work full time.  Fingers crossed on my next scan results. I love MiraLAX… (right Missy!!??)
Working is fun..
Also, a few of us are walking in the Undy Run/Walk at Forest Park-lower Muny parking lot (next Saturday March 19th). No pressure, but if you’re interested, we’ll be out there. I have attached the link below, but don’t judge me if I doesn’t work. I’m not a computer genious… genius… whatever.  Feel free to join team Powered by Hope… or create your own team (for example: MiraLAX can happen, I mean Miracles).

Spot 2/9/16

I spy with my little eye, something that is suspicious…

Apparently there is a small spot on my left liver that has popped up (according to my scan). My liver specialist reassured me that it is no big deal. It is located in a treatable location. They will perform a cryo-ablation (freeze it away with a tiny needle) this Thursday. This is not an invasive procedure so that’s great. They knock you out and use a needle from the outside, no incision. Spend the night. Go home the next day. Not painful. Easy one.

Ill have the spot removed and then I can start chemo after 10 days. As of now chemo is scheduled to start on Tuesday February 23rd.

These spots can come up from time to time. This is not optimal, but not unexpected, as I haven’t had chemo since early October. Dr Hawkins said they may come up from time to time. This one just happens to be super easy to cherry pick.

On another note, I just got back from vacation so I’ve had plenty of time to relax… For real. 🙂 So this should be no big deal for my rested body. Also, I think I gained 10lbs on the cruise… I’m back to my normal weight… Yay…

Until next time, cheers!




Generic Update 1-20-16


Well I was scheduled for chemo yesterday, but apparently since my surgical incision had a slight imperfection (bit of delicious ooze-seriously, it’s a barely) and my oncologist wanted a scan as a baseline before starting back up, there was no chemo. They did collect a copay and I did not pass GO. Tricky. The good news, I was quickly scheduled to have a CT this morning. All went well, I clearly survived it. Sorry to any of my local enemies reading this.

I should hear something back soon enough; I believe my oncologist will discuss results with my liver specialist this week and a new plan of action rolled out next week. The original plan of chemo this week was obviously boycotted, there’s a slim chance I may start next week. I’m supposed to be on vacation the first week of February, so it may not start back up until after that.

The future plan will likely be another 6 months of chemo (12 more treatments). It is undecided as to what combination of drugs it will consist of. I was informed that it will not include Oxaliplatin, as I’ve had my max on that for now.

As for those of you (you will remain unnamed at this time)  jealous of my glorious locks, not to worry, there’s still a chance I receive a drug that will bald me… Until then, I twirl my hairs… All three of them… And run my fingers through it in your honor…



I went back to work this week part time, that has been nice. Being off for the entire month of December and half of January was nice too,but it’s good to get back to it. I now know what it feels like to be a teacher (all of that time off). A teacher with cancer that is, post surgery. It wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, for those of you who were jealous. I know you’re out there. Don’t believe the hype.

I am feeling much better since around the beginning of the year. December was pretty rough and very mentally frustrating, with being tired all of the time, or rather just lacking energy for small things you take for granted: like sitting, standing, breathing.

For those of you wondering about Lucy the bulldog, she weighed in at almost 30lbs two weeks ago. She’s almost 5 months old now. She is officially “phat”. I would like to publicly apologize to Amy Lovett for calling Capone fat all these years, karma…. I’m so ashamed.

That’s all for now. Thank you for your support, it means a lot. Cheers.







It was a white Christmas… As in, I’m pale…

I guess white is better than YELLOW. Nobody wants jaundice. It would make my teeth look better though. Hmmm…

Anywho, I had my staples removed last Thursday. Things look pretty good, considering. image


And there’s nothing wrong with scars:


Dr. Hawkins removed the staples and said I’ll have another 2-3 rounds of chemo. I’ll find out more about it next month when I Meet with my oncologist. Apparently, I’ll have a scan prior to any chemo to check healing progress. I’m guessing this scan will take place at the end of January or beginning of February.

My job at this time is to basically do nothing and heal. I don’t have much energy and if I do, I don’t have it for very long. Very typical with having part of the liver removed. They said it will be like a roller coaster. Some days I’ll have more energy than others. Mostly, I’ll be tired after short periods of having any energy. This healing takes 2-3 months. I guess it builds up over time.

As of now, I  take walks around the block. Some trips are easier than others. I take Lucy with me sometimes. This proves exhausting for her too after we return home. Little short legs. Poor dog.


Happy holidays to everyone. I’ll update when I’ve talked to my oncologist I guess.



Hello, from the other side….

I heard a Hello… I thought it was God…

Nope… Adele.

they are really playing that song a lot. Geez.

Anywho, its Sunday. It’s been a week since I was discharged from the hospital. Almost two weeks since surgery. Things are healing nicely. I’ve had very few set backs. I had close to 20lbs of excess fluid post surgery. Toting that around last week was a little uncomfortable. Water pills have been slowly removing the excess. I think I lost 10 lbs in two days, seriously.

Ive still been making trips around the block, getting in some necessary walking to help w healing. I’ll see Dr Hawkins this coming Thursday to get staples out and have a follow up. I won’t post pics of the staples, as it’s not as nice looking this time. There are about 30 again, in the shape of an L. Not very attractive. 😉

I’ll find out when I’ll start follow up scans, etc. and I’ll  ask if I will have chemo at all in future. I guess the scans will tell.  When I talked to him last week he seemed pretty happy with how surgery went.  Stay tuned. Thanks for all of your thoughts. Much appreciated.