‘Twas the Night Before Chemo – 1

Twas the night before chemo, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even port mouse.

The chemo bag was hung by the door with great care,

In hopes I don’t forget it…that would be a scare.


The Gaybors are nestled all snug on their barstools,

All ordering shots…gosh, I hoped they carpooled.

And Missy Kitty in her ‘uniform’ and I in a toque,

Had just taken Shelbie out for a really big poop.


When out on the street came the sound of loud chatter,

I pranced to the door to see what was the matter.

Out in the street in what looked like a sled

Sat the Kittens in mittens and looking inbred.


They mooned me and laughed and rolled in the snow

It was clear they were drunk…with bottles in tow.

When, who with his wondering eyes should appear,

But Dejarlo, their driver, and eight more cold beers.


He hit on the Kittens with persistence and flare,

He whistled, and shouted…their full moons still bare!

With a very drunk driver, I knew there’d be trouble.

I told them to stop but the Kittens poured doubles!


“Now Pissy! now, Itty! now, Cancer and Big Titty!

On, Panther! On, P! on all the Mac D’s!

To the top of the Arch! Then on to the Hat!

Good luck with chemo Jill, we just came to say that!”


Now dash away! Crash away! Prance away all!

They all jumped in the sled…clearly having a ball.

I heard them exclaim as they pulled out of sight.

“Happy chemo to all…and to all a good night!”

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