Chemo Makes Jill Angerer!!

I’m glad to announce that chemo #7 is in the books with no issues!  However, chemo really does make Jill angerer…I mean she seriously looks like the German goalie Nadine Angerer right?!

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Of course, they are both angry women…but for different reasons.  Angerer is mad because they blew the number 1 spot and lost to the USA women in the World Cup (insert loud cheers)…Jill is angry because Apple Inc. just sent her a letter saying that she did NOT get hired as their new technical support manager for the Cloud.  I mean…I have to admit, I was a little surprised by this shun from Apple after Jill offered me this great technical advice just today.

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Now that my i-Phone is in the cloud I feel much more secure…thanks Jill you’re the best!

Seriously though, chemo is nothing to joke about! The mere thought of it brings out many emotions in Jill…pain…dread….fear…

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Oh wait…that was just more gas…sorry guys.

Everyone has asked how Jill is handling everything so well and with such a positive attitude.  We thought we really owed it to everyone to share her secret to happiness.

So basically, there are 3 main ways that she is keeping it together and maintaining such a fun and upbeat attitude through this challenge.
image#1…Yep you guessed it… pills…lots and lots of pills.  You got ’em she’ll take ’em folks! Anything from plant vitamins to horse tranquilizers! She’s like a walking Pez dispenser except pills go in…not out.  It’s seriously like watching Pac Man…she has pills hidden all over her house and she just walks around scooping them up in her giant mouth and eating them as if they were not even solid objects…like they’re air.  It’s weird…but whatever it takes right?!

#2…estrogen patches!!  After her hysterectomy things got a little dicey.  One night in the Tiki Bar she announced that she was “homicidally depressed” and went to get a knife from the kitchen…you know the knife…that giant one that Michael used in all of those Halloween movies…well…things got real…real fast!  I mean is there even such a thing as “homicidally depressed”?!  She said she was grouchy and just wanted to kill everyone else…well we took that to heart and have put 3 estrogen patches on her this week alone!!  She’s not aware of that fact so if you see her please don’t mention the “extra” patches on her back…it makes our lives a lot easier…and she’s real happy!

Last but certainly not least…she went to a natural healing doctor…Dr. Harrie Bush…who told her the key to positive energy and healing was drinking your own warm urine….gross I agree…but desperate times call for desperate measures folks.

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Not everyday is sunshine and butterflies though.  Yesterday was especially challenging if you haven’t heard.  There was a giant ball of stitches in her incision that was causing irritation…I mean it when I say giant…it must have been like walking around with a human-centipede trying to crawl out of her stomach.

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They had to cut through her fatty layer to get it out…thankfully it was her stomach and not her butt cheek…that would have taken a chain saw.  Now she has to pack a giant hole in her stomach and there’s a piece of gauze sticking out so she looks like one of those things you pull numbers out of at the deli in Schnucks!  Number

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I keep pulling it out and acting like it’s the winning ticket in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory…she’s getting annoyed…at least I think so…number 138!!!  She really likes adding the packing…it makes her imageThanks for all the support!  Keep sending the prayers and positive vibes Jill’s way please! I think there has been a transition from panda to sloth. Watch for old Two Toes to continue to make progress… Slowly, but surely. Your support in any way is clearly making an impact on her improvements. Thank you again.

 

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