This is 37… OxyContin, oxycodone, oxykitten..

I feel pretty darn good for having no working right lobe of liver.


Tuesdays procedure was slightly painful, I won’t lie… Yet.

They load you up with some feel good drugs (not enough) and then go on with the procedure. They fill some veins with some sauce (like caulking shut an opening), for you Home Depot lovers or weekend warriors. This does what we said earlier, causes a sort of heart attack to your one side of your liver, as you’re blocking off it’s blood supply.

I guess some people fall asleep during the procedure. I, of course, did not… Again…, like when I got my port placed. However the port placement was not painful. This time they go about the procedure and administer pain meds based on your discomfort. .. Oh and they remind you to lay still, as you have a needle or two running through a major blood supply, under your ribs. Ha.  Anywho, some people do not experience pain. I was lucky to have a little. About 30-40 min later I was good to go, they get it under control pretty quickly. Then I felt fine for the next few days, taking very few (if any) pain meds..

There were a few false alarms in the hospital with nausea, but that subsided really quickly. It was brought on by small amounts of food or drink, combined with any quick movements. If you laid still, which is impossible for me, then you were fine.

Ive been tired a lot and started experiencing some cramping pains over the weekend. I only include this because NOWHERE on the internet does it say that people would experience pain. Pass it on, it’s normal. It comes and goes and is tolerable, like my friends. I had been expecting flu-like symptoms only (fatigue, fever, aching, a little nausea). I know they say not to believe everything you read on the internet, but there was really no info on this. So here it is now…

Anywho, just a short update. There are slight fevers randomly once a day. Pain here and there. The diaphragm is involved and areas are inflamed and irritated in there, so deep breaths, laughing and other full lung inflating requirements are not restricted, but avoided. 😉 I am trying to avoid addiction to pain meds also, see the following:

(Click on link above)

I should be returning to work tomorrow (Tuesday 25th). I’ll have chemo this Friday, coming up. I’m not due for any scans until mid to late September. I go to MDA (Houston) September 18th I think. I’ll stay there about a week to get a second opinion and touch base with some different doctors. Nothing major will happen there. Just trying to get some other options in place, if ever necessary, way down the road.  My next liver surgery could happen in as soon as two months. They would be removing the entire right lobe. That will all be dependent on how things are healing and growing from this embolization. I’ll know more in about a month hopefully. Stay tuned.

angela was kind enough to let me wear her hat in the hospital:


Thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers, as always.




You Say Tomato…I Say Portal Embolization!

Well….I always knew this day would come…but I naturally assumed it would be caused from drinking copious amounts of alcohol…today is the day I officially killed half of my liver!  Definitely an occasion to dress up for!


imageContrary to popular belief…killing a lobe of your liver with a portal embolization is a lot faster than drinking with the Gayborhood in the Tiki Bar everyday of your life.

The 2 hour surgery was performed by a interventional radiologist and consisted of inserting a needle into the right lobe of  my liver…something I completely recommend that everyone try on their enemies at least one in their lifetime…it was not on my bucket list.

A catheter was inserted into the needle  that contained a hardening type substance they put into the portal vein. This substance hardens and blocks the blood flow  to the right side…causing what the doctor described as a “heart attack” in the right lobe…which sends extra nutrients to the left side to make it grow…grow lefty!

It’s true folks…my liver suffered a heart attack today! Like…who can even say that?!  I must be special…so much so I have received the following awards by Barnes Jewish Hospital…

1.  Patient of the Year – January 2015 to Present

2.  High Pain Toleranxe (high pain in the ass also)

3.  Most Liver Lesions (currently at Barnes)

4.  Most Organs Resected/Removed in One Surgery – May 19, 2015

5.  Most Likely to Cause Nauseau and Vomiting in Nurses – 1978 to Present

6.  Honorable Mention – Most Accurate with Bed Pans – 2015

7.  Most Likely to Confuse Colastamy Bag with a Chocalate Pudding Snack Pack



My parents will be so proud! Panther Dan and P Kitty you raised a real winner!

I’ll be in the hospital overnight and have been given this advice for my recovery in the week to come. image

Going slow takes time…so to ensure I monitor myself I stole this lovely clock from the 14th floor…rolling like Flava Flav!


Assuming all goes as planned, my next surgery will be in 6-8 weeks.  It will be a big one…to remove the whole tumor filled right side of my liver that we murdered today.  As Dr. Hawkins says…tumors can not hurt you if they’re in a bucket on the floor!

He’s a very no nonsense doctor…you will be happy to know that he writes children’s books too! If anyone is interested…one is called “Don’t Cry You Sissy!” and the other one is “There’s No Excuse to Be #2 – You’re the First Loser!”

His own autobiography, “How Dodge Ball Changed My Career Path – Surgeons Rule” should be out any day now.  I hope he mentions me in the acknowledgment section.

Anyway…he motivates in special ways no other doctor has….he treats my liver like a punching bag and I keep coming back for more!


Cheers! Thanks for all the love and support!


Liver… Don’t fail me now…

Can I have your attention please….

Will the real blog editor please stand up?

So… you can pretty much SCRATCH everything you read the other day… regarding Houston, Bells Palsy, etc. There is a new plan in place as of Monday this week.

Houston… has been pushed off until September (just delayed a month). I’ll still be going down there. Boots, belt buckle and bolo are packed. Giddy up!!


Next week I will go under a very tiny knife… and have the portal embolization procedure performed on Tuesday (August 18th). Die shitty right side, grow little, healthy left side… ahhh… it’s very exciting. I’ve learned it only takes about a week for the left liver to grow to the size it’s going to need to be in order to take over all liver function. Over the course of the next 6-8 weeks, the left side will learn how to perform all liver functions to support the body. This little liver of mine… I’m going to let it shine…


This girl above had the same procedure a few years ago and she’s doing just fine. Her left and right liver grew a little too much, but now she can drink more Jack Daniels than EVER. Lucky for her.

It’s a pretty amazing process when you think of it. My liver has been through the ringer already, so this should be like child’s play. I’ll likely just be off work for yet another week, with flu-like symptoms and then back at it the following week. Showing off my mad scientific genius skills at work.

Big shout out to Catfish and her hairstylist Conan, for everything she does keeping your all entertained and informed:


Here’s to another successful procedure next week. Stay tuned…

Oh and I promise to try to get some port videos out… Angela has been slacking on these… well I have too… but I am sooooo sick, I should not have to assume responsibility…



Houston…We Have Bells Palsy!

So… a lot has gone on this month….especially in the last two weeks. So much to say, so little time…. Where to start?

First, I have a new ailment….apparently there is a little known fact that chemo causes  Bells Palsy! Who knew?


While it’s not permanent….Bells Palsy does make it difficult for me to do some of the things I love the most…like playing The Rose on the harmonica, whistling Dixieland, and humming the Jaws theme while chasing people that jog by my house….I can’t wait for my half frown to turn upside down again.

I’ve been sneaking around a lot lately… trying to get some answers from my doctors regarding certain things and peeking in as many windows as possible. At times it’s like pulling teeth. I have decided to get a second opinion as a backup  plan for the future, and to make sure all the treatment I’m getting is the best path.

I think my doctors are great but at times I wonder why they are trying to turn me into a mummy!  I mean seriously I’m not contagious people.


Oh Captain my Captain and I will run off together to Houston, Texas to  one of the finest cancer centers in the country…MD Anderson. I’ll see a doctor that specializes in my very special kind of cancer…Canadian cancer is the best…it tastes like maple syrup and typically the tumors are shaped like a beaver.


I hope to gain some more knowledge of what’s going on and start a beautiful new relationship down there…no not with an armadillo a doctor…just in case anything unexpected were to come up and treatment was not available in St. Louis.  I also love doctors that wear cowboy hats, chaps, and spurs and Texas was the only state that assured this.

As of now, things are going really great here with treatments, etc.  I’m still in the honeymoon stage with chemo. Loving it and just can’t get enough. I love getting off on every other Friday. Ahhh. I guess things are going as scheduled originally. I’ll continue with chemo here….I just finished round #9 of chemo…lucky number 9!  As you can see my organs look great!


I’m supposed to be getting scheduled in the near future for the portal embolization. For those of you with memories like me, that is where they block off a blood supply to one side (my right side) of the liver to promote growth in the healthy side of my liver. Then in 6-8 weeks from that procedure they can hopefully remove the entire right side of my liver which is hoarding tumors like old ladies hoard cats. Then I’ll hopefully be free of the old ball and chain..,cancer that is.

Thanks for all the support! Remember.,,if you see someone creeping around that looks like this….call the police.